Great, guys! Here the emancipated women are shouting that they can finally live without us. Let's find out as a whole whether this is true.
Let's start with sex. This is such a thing, well, there are pistils, stamens, and then a little back-eater appears in the house. Actually, that's all - sex is not needed for anything anymore. But nature cheated - if we didn’t get a buzz from this business, we would have switched to beer long ago and died out like mammoths. And wise nature made it so that we need sex more than they do. And no matter what the guys say, they both get high, but why pay me is an empty shock. Really, we're having a blast! Well, nature arranges it this way that we can get pleasure in three minutes, with an unfamiliar, not very beautiful woman, in the entrance, where the temperature is -25 degrees, men are drinking nearby, and the police are breaking down the door. It doesn't work out that way for women. For them it is necessary that she loves, that she feels safe, that she gets enough sleep, that the curtains are white on the windows, that all her relatives are alive and well, that the lights are turned off, because she considers herself naked and plump... In short, the stars in the sky must align so that she can have an orgasm with you. Attention to the question - who needs this more? Yes, yes, yes, we men need sex. Well, nature is a cunning thing, she did all this on purpose, because we are physically stronger and, if our beloved does not want anything, we can beat her and the bastard into the bushes, in order to breed there with her and multiply. If anything, this is not advice for action, this is article 131! Honor the criminal code!
Now let's talk about the money. I have already clearly hinted that a man is stronger than a woman. What about women - a man is stronger than a cave rhinoceros, if he has friends, fire and a stone axe. We need our body to run, to catch up, to knock down, to finish off, to chop, to drag, and, holding out a piece of juicy meat to our woman, to say: y-y-y, I’m waiting for you in the evening in those bushes over there! But women don’t have such a body, and thank God! Therefore, nature decided for us - a man should hunt for a rhinoceros.
But these days are just not the same times! The rhinoceros has somehow become lighter now. Nowadays, rhinoceroses are hunted not on the prairie, not in the forest or in the mountains, but in stuffy offices, where there are monitors and geraniums on the window. Now women can get rhinos themselves, which means the last thing we could manipulate, alas, is lost. Only friends from the east turned out to be smart in this situation. They sensed something was wrong and immediately forbade their women to work and imprisoned them at home, citing their senior comrade. Well, the east is a delicate matter, but what should we do?
It turns out that if they can earn money themselves, and can generally replace passionate sneezing and puffing with shopping, why the hell did we give in to them? It turns out that a woman can live without a man? But damn it, he can’t!
Here's the rub! The fact is that people’s capabilities have changed, but psychology has remained cave-like. And no matter how much a woman earns and whoever she thinks she is, she will feel happy and safe only when she buries her nose in your stinking armpit while you snore next to her like a saber-toothed tiger. She lies with her nose buried in your fur and thinks: why the hell did you give in to her? - you earn little, you get drunk often, you don’t help around the house, you didn’t leave the condition, but you grew a belly at the pub. Yes, she would live ten times better without you. But then her inner woman (our symbolic mother) says to her - screw yourself, girl, we need a man, it’s been that way since cave times, I don’t know why, but we need it! You’d better crucify him and offer him a sneeze-puff, you don’t care, but he’s pleased.
And she wakes you up with a tender kiss and, looking devotedly into your eyes, says: I love you, dear! And you answer her: s-s-s-s-s-s-s....
And if he doesn’t remember anything, please, everything is saved. Every piece of paper, every contract. We listened to Abramov for six hours. We were ready for a day. From story to story it became more interesting and dramatic.
- Nothing connects you with the agency business today?
Absolutely. I don’t want to get into it myself. The years take their toll. Already 62!
- Is this age for an agent?
I once handled the cases of Fedya Cherenkov, Seryozha Rodionov, Valera Sarychev... Yes, many! More than a hundred football players passed through me. Mostly the same age or a little younger. We were on friendly terms and spoke frankly on any topic. When a player starts looking at you as a grandfather, this leads to a loss of trust, because there is no connection between times. Plus, I’m used to talking with the football player one-on-one, without my parents. But in the case of , whom I helped for five years, all communication was not so much with him, but with dad and mom.
- Where did you find Panyukov?
Interesting story. A friend was driving from the dacha. At the side of the road there is a car with an emergency warning light, next to a man and a woman. He slowed down: “What happened?” - “Well, it’s broken down. Can you give me a lift to Moscow?” - "Sit down". On the way we started talking. They talked about their son, who plays at the FC Moscow school. The boy is 15 years old, in good standing, but the club is falling apart, everyone is being dispersed. People are confused. A friend advised me to contact me. This is how I met Andryusha Panyukov’s parents.
- Did you get the guy hired at Dynamo?
They don't play football because of their connections. Helping and recommending is another matter. I called Kostya Sarsania, the club’s sports director at that time. He gave instructions to the breeders. First, Erik Yakhimovich watched a couple of matches with Panyukov’s participation, then Sasha Bokiy. Both approved the transition, and Andryusha was enrolled in the Dynamo school. The financial issues with the dying “Moscow” have been resolved.
- How much did Dynamo pay for Panyukov?
The amount of compensation was determined by Moskomsport. The amount turned out to be small, around 300 thousand rubles. A year later, Panyukov was transferred to the reserve team and became the top scorer of the youth championship. At the age of 17, in the Europa League against Stuttgart, he took the field, albeit for 15 minutes, replacing Kuranyi. And then…
- What?
It is very difficult to play in a team where there are many expensive players. By the age of 18, Andrei signed a good contract and earned $250 thousand a year.
- Wow!
This is a “wow” for you and me. But Dynamo is minuscule. Panyukov was considered the cheapest player. This one can always sit. First of all, we need to put those who were bought for a lot of money.
Same. Both are excellent football players. But they don’t speak Russian, they don’t have the slightest idea about the history of our country, they haven’t read Tolstoy or Dostoevsky. That's what gets me. When Valera Sarychev was offered Korean citizenship, he spent a year and a half studying the language, passing an exam and a 40-minute test on knowledge of local culture, traditions, and history. As a result, I received a passport with a new surname - Shin Ui Song. Translated - Hand of God.
- Aren’t football agents a big deal in Russia these days?
You're spot on. Some take 10 percent of the transfer amount, others - 5. The money is huge if you sign a contract for 10-15 million dollars. But in Russia such deals are very rare. Our agents deal mainly with small transfers. The fee is within tens.
- 10 thousand dollars?
Well, yes. But how much nerves and fuss! A bunch of agents, about three hundred people, passed before my eyes. Many of them hung around for a couple of years, realized that the work wasn’t all that easy, and switched to another business. Yes, you can hit the jackpot. Or you can suck a paw for a whole year. To stay afloat, you need to have the talent of Kostya Sarsania. He was wealthy, had connections, and knew how to negotiate. But there are only a few people like Konstantin. In my practice, miracles have happened when it was possible to organize a transfer without making much effort. Much more often it was the other way around - you spend a long, long time preparing a contract, living on planes and trains, but at the last moment everything falls through.
- First, about miracles.
I accomplished Kim Dong-jin's transfer to Zenit in three days. Sovintersport earned 50 thousand dollars. He also helped Zenit save at least a million.
- How?
At one time, the president of Seoul gave me a letter of guarantee - if there is an offer for Kim from Europe, the club will release him for two million dollars. Sarsania knew about this paper. Interest in Kim arose after Zenit agreed on a contract with Advocaat, who had previously coached the Korean national team. Dick was asked: “Which players do you want to take with you?” He named two names.
- Kim Dong Jin and...
-...Li Ho. Kostya comes to me: “Has the paper on Kim for two million been preserved?” - "Certainly!" - “Can you call the Koreans and say that we are ready to buy the player on these terms?” I'm dialing the president of "Seoul". He is driving home by car. He reports that early tomorrow morning he will fly to his daughter in Nice, and from there to the World Championships in Germany. But upon hearing that Zenit will transfer the money as soon as Kim passes the medical examination, he commands the driver to turn around and returns to the office. Begins to prepare documents for the transfer. Three days later the contract was signed.
- Were you also involved in the Li Ho transition?
No. The players fly to St. Petersburg and it turns out that not only was Lee Ho hired for three million, but his salary is one and a half times more than Kim’s!
- Strange.
Still would! Kim is an experienced, reliable defender, one of the leaders of the team. Lee Ho is a snotty kid who no one needs. The red price is a million, if not less. But the Lawyer wanted him so much that Zenit paid Ulsan three. A couple of months later the president of Seoul calls. An offended voice: “Vladimir, you deceived me!” - “Me?! They themselves wrote out a paper for two million...” - “Yes, but I couldn’t even imagine that Li Ho would buy Zenit for three. How is this even possible?! You made an idiot out of me, everyone is laughing at me a country".
- If it weren’t for that paper, how much would Kim have cost?
The lawyer told the Zenit management that they would have to pay three, or even three and a half million for the player. The club was ready for such expenses.
Zaza
- Now about the failed transfers. The most offensive cases?
It was on the Russia-2 channel. I came to the program, they smear my face before the broadcast. A pretty girl is sitting next to him. I forgot her last name - then she married...
- Anna Kasterova.
Yes, Kasterova. We chat about this and that. Suddenly he exclaims: “Such a story happened here! Slutsky came and accidentally met with Bubnov. A fight! Slutsky is a decent person, he behaves decently. And this one is just a bastard...” He takes advantage of the right to be rude. He voices some unverified facts. But impudence to the limit. Journalists like it when he behaves a little immorally.
- It's not the same for everybody.
Rodionov and Cherenkov were maniacally afraid of him!
- You and I are not like that. The devil himself is not our brother.
In Paris we sat with Rodionov at his house and asked: “Where does Bubnov live?” - “Yes, there’s his balcony...” It’s summer, it’s hot, but the windows are curtained. I was surprised - and Rodionov laughed: “He never opens the curtains!”
- Didn’t Bubnov invite anyone to his place?
No. Lived in my thoughts. Serezha said: “Fedya and I weren’t even visiting him.” Me too. During a trip to Paris, I talked to him on the phone twenty times and met with Zoya, his wife. I didn’t see Bubnov himself.
- Why?
He thought that for him I was a small fry, only the head of the company was worthy of a personal meeting. And I'm a deputy. This is a real person with problems. Jean-Claude Bras, the president of Red Star, raised his finger to his temple: “I don’t know who is mentally ill - or Bubnov? His plugs are burned out, he can’t think straight!”
- What an expression.
Popular in France. How he and his Zoya annoyed everyone in Paris! Before that, Mikhail Nikitin came from Sovintersport, and Bubnov almost beat him up. Mikhail Leonidovich got him a new contract so that Bubnov would not be kicked out of the club. The situation was extremely difficult!
- Didn’t want to leave the Russian star?
Naturally. Mikhail Leonidovich performed a miracle - he extended Bubnov’s contract. He came to pick up the papers. Instead of saying “thank you,” he looked through the pages, came across the deadline, and began to threaten: “What is this? Are you crazy?! Do you even understand who you’re dealing with? I’m a great man!”
- What didn’t suit you?
I dreamed of extending it for several years. And Mikhail Leonidovich explained that they managed to agree only for a year. Bubnov is wildly scandalous. Although Beskov was a favorite. The words of Konstantin Ivanovich are etched in my memory: “Buba is a good guy. Impulsive, but not stupid. He can give advice in time. Speak at a meeting, find the right words. Besides, he doesn’t drink...”
- You have become a friend to the Red Star club. They brought three football players - one of whom immediately went crazy, another broke his leg and did not play for a year, and the third turned out to be Bubnov.
Yes. The President told me this: “Therefore, Abramov, don’t take me by the throat.” All the time he shouted to my translator: “Natasha, Natasha, tell me - don’t let him strangle me! I’m getting out of my own skin, I love Seryozha Rodionov so much, I’ll do everything for him...”
- Bubnov arrived at Red Star earlier. Having met him, did the president want more Russians?
Bubnov convinced the French: “We have Rodionov and Cherenkov, this is what we need. Fedya is generally a king. Rise up right away!” Somehow it got into my head. Rodionov also went to Red Star, although we found him a contract in France for a much larger sum.
- But everything turned out sad.
Rodionov receives a serious fracture, and Fedya has just arrived. There's only one left. Poking here and there... But he shouldn’t worry! Sergei Chemezov personally took him out of Paris. You know what kind of figure this is. And then he worked at Sovintersport.
- Starostin’s grandson told us that a huge scandal happened in France. The club stated: “You brought us a crazy person. Take him back, return our money.”
It was so.
- How did you manage to settle it?
Chemezov decided everything. He flew to France, prepared documents with embassy workers, and sorted out financial details. The money was written off. Yes, we made a mistake. Honestly, they didn’t know that Fedor was sick! Just like Spartak didn’t know!
- Yes it will be for you.
Something had manifested itself before, but... No one suspected that such exacerbations were possible. I must say that the French reacted to this with understanding. And we understood with understanding that Bubnov was doing weird things with terrible force, that “Red Star” would last for six months - if not a year! - I didn’t pay Rodionov.
- Is this possible in Europe?
But there was no money!
- What to do?
So I went to Paris to deal not only with Bubnov, but also with Rodionov’s salary. And Mr. Bra is a very strange character in himself.
- Well, the company gathered at Red Star.
Usually all club owners are slightly crazy about football. And this one was not interested in football at all. Only wine!
- Alcoholic, or what?
No, wine producer. I agreed with him on the date of arrival for about three months. I finally arrive in May, but he’s not at home. The wife shrugs: “Sorry, but he’s in Czechoslovakia, in the vineyards...” He’s buying it cheap. He has no time for football!
- This is the trick.
I was amazed: “What are you talking about? Here is his letter, an official invitation to these dates!” The wife thought: “I’ll call you back in the evening. What hotel are you in? I can’t contact him now, he’s in the fields. He’ll be back in Paris on Thursday.”
- Had arrived?
And all my days are planned out, I’m not only busy with football. Hockey player Anisin’s daughter is engaged in figure skating, volleyball players in Rennes are not paid, they have to rush there. On Wednesday, a call from Bra’s wife: “Jean-Claude will arrive on Friday” - “What Friday?! I’m flying home on Saturday, my visa is running out!” In the Soviet Union, everything was clear day by day - try, stay late. And I need to get money for Rodionov and extend the contract of this goat Bubnov!
- Did you show up on Friday?
Yes, early in the morning. We sit down, I tell him about football, he tells me about wine. I’m talking about football again, and Jean-Claude: “Let’s drink champagne, guys.” I say: “Rodionov is waiting for me” - “What is he waiting for? There’s no money anyway. So we’d better uncork the bottle.”
- Oh yes, negotiations.
In the end, Bra proposes a scheme: “I issue bank checks with dates. Now it’s May - since September Rodionov has been receiving such and such amounts.” I call Seryozha back and say that we must agree. Why strangle a man if he has no money? What if he spent it all on wine? You can punch this Jean-Claude in the face...
- Also a thought.
It’s kind of awkward - he’s a tiny little guy. He also really liked my translator. She was already drooling. Goat.
- What’s wrong with Bubnov?
Rodionov and I decided, Bra became gloomy: “Yes, I completely forgot about this goat...”
- That's what he said?
- What to answer to this?
I listened to everything and said: “The contract needs to be extended.” Jean-Claude didn’t know what to do: “How much does he want? I’ll pay everything, if only this family leaves as soon as possible. I can’t see!” I looked at the contract, it says “coach Bubnov.” He started shouting: “What kind of coach is he? I called him “coach” - so that I could at least somehow get a visa. To please his family. Now he says to himself - “coach Bubnov”! But in reality, he’s nobody There is no coaching license. The parents of his students are crying, they don’t want to trust their children. You, Abramov, come here for a week, sign everything and leave, and I’ll stay with him.”
- You can sympathize.
I sit and listen - but he just won’t calm down: “What should I do with him? You teach me! Or let your beauty tell you. So they came up with an idea - one football player immediately broke down, another got sick in his soul, and the third - in general...”
- Why did Bubnov’s wife annoy him?
She... She... Even healthier than Bubnov himself! If this Jean-Claude gets hit, his body will remain, but his head will come off. He felt it. Zoya too. She went to the president. She conducted all the negotiations with me and came to the embassy in a tracksuit. Sometimes in leather trousers and the same jacket. It's a pity there was no sword belt. Some kind of Mauser in a wooden holster would go very well with all this. So Natalya Sergeevna and I came to the embassy...
- Is this the translator?
Yes. An unusually beautiful woman. Her sister was married to a big man from the Foreign Office. Therefore, in France, the Soviet ambassador was with us everywhere. Took me to the first session of Basic Instinct. The film just made a splash in Cannes and was brought to Paris. We sat at the private screening - as if invited from the embassy. This Natasha was wow. Three languages, graduated from MGIMO.
- And here is Zoya Bubnova.
That’s what I’m talking about - we’re sitting at the embassy, on Zoya’s doorstep: “Didn’t you hear, some Abramov has arrived. Damn it, he won’t sort out our contract!” I raise my voice: “Abramov is me” - “Oh, that’s it...” Ugh, I don’t even want to remember...
- Then tell me - how did Rodionov live in France without money?
Outside of contractual obligations, he was paid for each match. With me, Red Star won the 1/8 finals of the Cup 1:0, Rodionov scored. They immediately gave him a good bonus. We went to drink beer. But Seryoga has a drawback.
- After Bubnov, any shortcoming will seem like a prank.
No, this is a serious flaw. Rodionov cannot drink cold beer! And Cherenkov is the same! They took the hot stuff straight out of the car. Throat is sensitive. But I can’t stand warm beer, it’s the urine of a young pig. I choked on it... Well, then Seryozha and I got so drunk that at three o’clock in the morning they couldn’t remember where they left the car. I point: “That alley over there.” Rodionov replies: “No, this one.” I also want to write. What to do, right on the wall, in the middle of Paris...
- Did you get behind the wheel after this?
I was driving Seryozha. In France you could drink three glasses and go. If you see the edges of the road - drive, yo! In Russia in the 2000s, I didn’t travel sober after work at all.
- This characterizes you amazingly.
I'm not a big drinker, but a glass of wine was fine. Like all. I ate a sandwich, got into the car and went home. One day I was leaving Sovintersport and sat drinking for a long time. It became really bad. I had a 407 Peugeot and turned it onto Novy Arbat. There are two traffic cops behind me, with a siren! And I stink like a pig!
- They hit it like that.
I slow down near the Oktyabr cinema. They come up: “Are you crazy?” - “What is it?” - “We drove under the prohibitory sign, you can’t turn right!”
- Oh well.
- “Sorry. Negotiations have been delayed” - “We need to thank us...” He pulled out a thousand rubles: “Is that enough for you?” - “Thank you very much, drive calmly.” I don't care what stinks from me. Doesn't it make you sick? So, not drunk. Guys, you just don’t remember - in those years everyone was a loser on the road!
- This is what eluded us.
Our employee Mikhail Sakharov’s wife called the service: “Volodya, tell Misha that his three children are waiting at home. Every day a drunk comes to Solntsevo, we are worried about his health...” That he gets behind the wheel in this state and could get into an accident, didn't care.
- What happened to Cherenkov in France?
Fedya was always calm. It was in the USSR, somewhere in the Caucasus, they say, he almost went out the window.
- In Tbilisi.
Yes, there was an aggravation. But in Paris it’s different. Some kind of prostration. I didn’t go to training, I didn’t understand what was going on around me... Now this can be easily corrected with stelazine. I would be like everyone else. Today, every third person has this diagnosis! In America - even pilots. Corrected the brain with a pill - healthy, fly. How did they feel about this in the early 90s?
- How?
With misunderstanding. It's a crazy world today, everyone is sick. Because no one works hard physically. There is no working class. Men do not trample women, but each other. You can’t drink a glass of wine in the car, they drag you to jail. Life is not like that!
- Don't say anything. The famous agent Paulo Barbosa told how he saved his clients from the police. Have you ever had to?
Yes all the time!
- We are waiting for names.
There is a coach at Ural - Yuri Matveev...
- He was a wonderful football player.
A good guy, practically a teetotaler. Yes, sometimes. He brought him to Korea, Yura lived on the main street of Seoul. It's called Itaewon. There is an American military base nearby. What happened in Itaewon before!
- What could be going on in delicate Seoul?
The most fun place! This is where a Russian man could rest. On Friday evening, the Americans are released from the base, leaving in their uniforms with the inscription US Army. There are bars, restaurants, prostitutes all around. Koreans are also drawn to all this splendor!
- Do they actively participate in public life?
Koreans are like Russians. Vodka is varnished with beer. They take out an accordion and sing. Sober all week, and on Friday the riot begins. Until five in the morning! The main fun is to fight with the Americans. And here we are - two idiots.
-Are you and Matveev?
Yeah. Also Ira, his wife. We are returning from Sarychev. We get into the car, the road is narrow. There are these Americans all around. They stand and don’t pay attention to us. Yura says: "I'm drunk." Ira gets behind the wheel and presses several soldiers against the wall. One of them will scream: “Help!” About thirty people run out of the bar - they think the Koreans have attacked. Hari is like that, every second black man. That's it, we got it! Yura also gets out of the car: “Whose face should I break?” I barely have time to intervene: “Guys, it happened by accident, we are Russians, and we are best friends with the Americans. It’s the Koreans who get into fights all the time, but we are for you!”
- You're smart about them.
Then the police appear. I explain: “They pressed a little. They didn’t crush anything.” The Americans agree: “Yes, yes, yes...” They don’t want to shine either. I then thought - what a blessing it was that there weren’t any Russians in the next bar. There were plenty of our fools in Korea. They were just waiting to hit someone with a vase or an ashtray. We returned to Moscow from Seoul with one of these. Complete atas! They brought me on the plane in handcuffs! As soon as they sat him down, he shouted in good language: “Are there any Russians?! Help me untie myself, they are beating the Russians!” I ask the flight attendant - why did they take it?
- For what?
He answers: “He’s crazy, you can’t unswaddle him. I was sitting in a bar in Itaewon, the Koreans started a fight with the Americans. What did this guy do? He grabbed a vase and hit the American in the head. Then an ashtray and hit the Korean!” The police came running, tied up our fool, and deported him to Moscow.
- So you flew with your hands tied?
- The great goalkeeper Dasaev left for Seville. Suddenly the Vremya program started showing how he was missing goals from the center of the field. What was it?
Rinat is a very good person...
- We have no doubt about this.
All of Spain was in love with him! He's a handsome guy, and his wife Nellie is also interesting. Tall, slender. Spanish men told me: “There is no woman in our country who would not dream of sleeping with Dasaev.”
- That's a touch.
But the men dreamed of something else - to sit with him and drink cold beer. Is it possible to live in such conditions?
- Life is easy. It's not easy to play.
Dasaev became overweight and lost shape. They stopped letting him out onto the field. And most importantly, from some point on they didn’t pay!
- It's a shame.
We arrived and knocked it out. The most amazing thing is that they enriched Dasaev by another 315 thousand dollars. Crazy money! Initially I didn’t claim them, but a miracle happened. A new government decree came out - and we decided to try to get 10 percent of the transfer amount for Dasaev.
- “Sevilla” paid more than three million for him?
There was even more due, but only one payment went through. The second one just stuck. Here we are trying to find a solution - to transfer part of the transfer amount to Rinat. A letter arrives from the Council of Ministers: “Money has been allocated for Dasaev, indicate the account where to transfer it.” I arrive in Spain, the ambassador of the Soviet Union meets me: “Boy, are you stunned? I’m the richest here, I get three thousand dollars, and everyone is jealous! And how much do you want to transfer to Dasaev? Do you even understand?” I show the decision of the Council of Ministers: “Did I come up with this?” - “Do you understand that you are compromising me?! You are making Dasaev a millionaire, and making me into a fool!”
- How did it end?
I transferred Rinat 315 thousand dollars. A commission of 5 percent had to be taken from this money. Dasaev became rich overnight and opened his own store. I went there and was stunned.
- From what?
In the corner is a color photograph of him in a wooden frame. Rinat smiled: “Take whatever you want. For free! You can take the ball, or you can take gloves or boots...” Why do I need boots? I pointed to this photo - I wish it, autographed!
- Gave?
He frowned. I can’t, he says, she’s the only one. “Okay,” I answer. “Then you don’t need anything.” They shared a beer with him. They washed it down with wine. It's time for me to go to the airport. At 8 pm flight from Seville to Madrid. Rinat and I can barely stand. Here Dasaev staggered: “Volodya, why are you attached to this photo?” He jumped out of the bar and ran across to the other side of the street. I'm following him. He took a photo: “Here!” We jumped into the car and rushed off, nothing before departure. It's raining like a wall, you can't see a damn thing. I sobered up from fear!
- Is Rinat driving?
Yes. At the airport, he grabs my junk from the trunk and rushes across the entire hall. A man leans out of the bar: “Rinat, Rinat!” Dasaev slows down for a second, turns around: “Pedro, hello! I’m with my buddy, we need to put him on a plane...” - “At least take a bottle of wine.” Rinat grabs this bottle and hands it to me: “Another gift.” So healthy!
- Did you make it?
The last one jumped on the plane. The doors were already battened down.
- The bottle must have not survived. And what about Dasaev’s portrait?
Hanging at the dacha.
- Rinat was no longer objectively capable as the main goalkeeper?
Unfortunately. At the same time, he constantly played for the second team, third, fourth, and pensioners. Just the fact that Dasaev was on the field brought together full stadiums in the provinces. They continued to pay him some crumbs - one thousand and a half dollars. In general, the fate is amazing - then Rinat was still a boy by goalie standards! I just brought Sarychev to Korea in those same years. He played there for 15 years and became a rich man. I could continue to play - but it’s inconvenient until I’m fifty.
- I feel sorry for Rinat.
I was playing the fool myself. After all, he drank beer beautifully. Women are around. What kind of women he loved, dear mother... How many of them did he have...
- And the wife?
I was offended. As a result, we got divorced and found myself a Spaniard. Moved to Zaragoza. And Dasaev loved first one, then another, then a third. Even tired of this fuss... You guys are young, you don’t quite understand what 300 thousand dollars is in 1991.
- And you tell us.
A three-room apartment in the center of Moscow cost three thousand dollars. Dacha on Rublyovka - maximum, ten!
-Aren't you confusing anything?
I answer you! I came from Libya, they were building an oil pipeline there for five years. I had one of the highest salaries - a thousand dollars. Everyone was freaking out about how much I was getting. I worked for four months - I can return to Moscow and take a three-ruble note. Or a car. Now you can work as an ambassador to the United States, but you won’t be able to save up for an apartment in four months.
-Dasaev didn’t buy up blocks in Moscow?
He and I sat and talked about it. He admonished Rinat: “That’s why you opened a store?”
- Not worth it?
It could have been opened in Moscow - under such and such a name! Carry Spanish clothes and rake in huge amounts of money. And in Spain no one went to this store. Who should I sell football gloves to? A year and a half later, Dasaev went bankrupt.
- Lost 300 thousand?
Yes. However, I’m not the manager - he skipped everything or something remained. Dasaev knew how to live beautifully! At that time, no mafia boss in Russia had 300 thousand dollars. But Dasaev had them. There is also a certificate from the Ministry of Finance that the money is legal, you can bring it into Russia and buy anything. For example, go to Leningrad, where antique shops were bursting with amazing things. They cost pennies. Dasaev could have purchased a service from 1812 for 50 people. It would cost three thousand dollars. And today the price is three million!
- God.
To buy all this, you need a head. I explained to Rinat! He told me how he came from Libya in 1990 and had 10 thousand dollars in his pocket. When the police at the foreign exchange store saw this bundle of money on me, one of them, it seems, pissed himself. Because of fear!
- You have imaginative thinking.
This was not a check store, but a currency store. Big difference. Anyone who worked in Mongolia could enter the Berezka check office. And I have SLE in my hands!
- Freely convertible currency?
That's it. But as soon as I looked at my certificate, I immediately said: “Please, come in.” Would you like a book by Mandelstam? Here it is, please. Blue cover. And at customs Koloskov was tied up with a volume of Mandelstam and his party card was almost taken away. I had ten in my pocket - and Rinat had 300 thousand...
- How much Mandelstam can you buy? It's scary to think about.
There were legends about Rostropovich's fees. A dacha, expensive things... But in terms of income, he is nothing compared to Dasaev. What did I say: “Rinat, you come to Moscow - and in a month you have a museum of rare things in your apartment.” Antique utensils. If you want, buy Aivazovsky. Don't like Aivazovsky? Okay, Korovin! The apartment would be like Vasilyeva’s on Molochny Lane. And in the middle is Dasaev, with a cigar and in slippers. All this would cost no more than 100 thousand dollars. Over time I would sell it for more. Factor of! But he didn't understand.
- Did you answer anything?
Rinat is a decent man, but simple-minded. Why does he need Korovin? He doesn’t read books, doesn’t go to museums, isn’t registered in a library.
- It means they didn’t get through to Korovin.
Didn't get through. I didn’t even get an apartment in the city center. He answered: “I already have a three-room apartment, in a brick house, on Belorusskaya...”
-Which client of yours drank a lot of blood?
Gadzhiev performed brilliantly in Japan. This is a man of Asian thinking. Very specific, laconic. As a Russian, it’s sometimes hard for me to understand.
- What happened?
Nepomniachtchi, leaving the Sanfrecce club, asked: “Find a person to take my place.” We agreed with Gadzhiev and discussed all the points. He took the contract with the words: “I’ll finish it on the spot.” And then the adventures began.
- Which?
I informed the Japanese that the issue had been resolved. The club's sponsor is Mazda. We sat down at the table in Hiroshima. The head of the concern himself was invited to sign the contract. The club was allocated, relatively speaking, $300 thousand a year for the coach’s contract. They don’t have any more money, they can’t even give a penny from above. At this moment, when it was necessary to leave an autograph and shake hands, Gadzhi Muslimovich suddenly decided to bargain.
- Turn.
Okay, the Japanese don't act like that. It doesn’t even occur to them that someone else could do this. And Gadzhiev pressed: “Do you know how much I received? Do you know what my offers are?” The leaders of Sanfrecce looked at each other in confusion, turned to me, and back to him: “Did Vladimir negotiate with you?” - “He said something... But I wanted to meet you, look you in the eye, talk” - “How much do you need?” Gadzhiev named some number. All this in the face of the concern's president!
- Interesting.
Such people do not come down to bargain for additional thousands in a contract. To make it clear to you, it’s like Putin. He was invited to sign an agreement with the Chinese. He just shook hands and left. Everything has been discussed a long time ago. And they suddenly declare: “We do not agree.” Can you imagine this?
Of course they signed it. Gadzhi Muslimovich beamed. The Japanese, as they say, were “squeezed out.” And then I heard enough from them: “How is this possible?! You are Sovintersport, you, Abramova, are known everywhere. We believed you. Nepomniachtchi spoke such kind words about you. We have lost face! You deceived us! We will not pay the commission! "
- What a nuisance.
But I got it from Gadzhiev. He said: “I’ll pay you. Did you want ten from them? I’ll give you 15, I earned much more!” That's the way he thinks. He didn’t even think about the fact that he let me down, compromised me, and had absolutely no intention of discussing it with me.
- Gadzhiev did not stay at Sanfrecce.
He failed the job! It was Nepomniachtchi who raised the team to third place, and Gadzhiev lowered it to third with “I don’t want to”. The Japanese did not know how to get rid of it. And then he declares: “Heart problems.” There were no problems though.
- Why do you think so?
I know all the details!
- We also want to know.
It’s just that German Tkachenko agreed that he would head Krylia Sovetov. Gadzhiev took his Japanese contract, came to Samara: “Guys, I had this salary. If you want me, appoint no less than what is written here...” Then Gadzhi Muslimovich arrived in Japan with the words: “My heart hurts, train I can't."
- How did you react?
They say: “What can you do if he has a heart problem?” All these technical points were spelled out in the contract, but somehow they tore it up. Tell you honestly?
- If I may.
They were happy that Gadzhiev was leaving! And after that, Japan ended all relations with me - as with a dishonest person who does not keep his word. Never worked with them again. Not a single club wanted to deal with me.
- Were there no such situations in China?
No. Just like in Korea. Gadzhi Muslimovich frankly told me: “Volodya, you wanted to earn money? You received even more than you planned. And thanks to the Japanese contract, I raised my level to stratospheric heights. They would never have offered me that kind of money in Samara.”
German Tkachenko. Photo by Fyodor Uspensky, "SE"
- Were you no longer his agent?
No, German Vladimirovich took it all under himself. Tkachenko was also offended by me.
- For what?
And there was something to be offended by. Especially when he became the head of “Wings”. He himself deceived me - and he was offended!
- How did he deceive?
The Wings coach desperately needed the Korean Oh Bom Seok, who was then playing in Japan.
- Gadzhiev?
Gadzhiev was no longer there, thank God. Slutsky! His English friends suggested that Oh Beom Seok is the best there is. And only Abramov can drag the guy to Russia. I did everything, asked for 25 thousand dollars. They answered me: “Okay.” I haven't asked enough yet. If I had to ask for 50, they would give it. How did it all end?
- Really curious.
They tricked Oh Beom Seok. They didn’t pay him, they let the guy into colossal problems! And we, Sovintersport, were told: “We didn’t have any agreement, we didn’t sign anything.” I say: “Stop, we have documents” - “But we don’t…”
- What should I do?
I wrote a letter to the head of Russian Technologies, Chemezov. Sergei Viktorovich called Tkachenko and said: “Pay!” Then respected German Vladimirovich called me: “I thought you were joking that you knew Chemezov. They gave me these...” I was offended!
- Otherwise you wouldn’t have forked out the money?
One hundred percent. A year later, a note was published in which German Vladimirovich described how Sovintersport ripped them off. They tore out a million and took it among themselves.
- How was it really?
I brought the Korean for cheap. Fans do not understand what the price is made up of. Oh Beom Suk had a loophole in his contract: if he pays the club, he becomes a free agent. Otherwise it costs one million two hundred. In Japan he was the best football player.
- Question price?
It was necessary to transfer 200 thousand to his agent. He arranges everything as it should. After this, “Wings” can only pay the player’s salary. Slutsky was thrilled with happiness!
- Did he participate in the negotiations?
We were sitting at the Ararat Hyatt Hotel. I told Slutsky: “There is only one problem. You must meet the football player personally. He doesn’t trust anyone.” About Bom Sok directly told me: “I won’t go to this club, they won’t give me anything there. You have bandits in all your teams, except for Moscow ones.”
- Where do you get these thoughts from?
He communicates with other football players. They told him. Koreans were often deceived here. Here we are sitting, the four of us - Oh Bom Sok, Slutsky, Tkachenko and me. The Korean repeats: “I don’t believe it!” - “Leonid Viktorovich gives you the floor.”
- What was the salary?
It seems like 600 thousand a year. We send 200 to the agent, another 200 thousand are “lifting”. At the request of "Wings", these 200 are registered in the name of the football player's father, so as not to pay taxes.
- Did Oh Beom Seok end up running away?
Yes, by breaking the contract. He had an apartment under construction in Seoul, and he had to pay 100 thousand monthly. If you're late, there's an insane fine. So he was subject to these fines! Kolya Tolstykh helped us; he then headed the Chamber for Dispute Resolution at the RFU. And in “Wings”, while they weren’t paying, they still had the audacity to warn the footballer: “Don’t even think about telling the journalists. This will be a violation of contractual obligations.”
- And the Korean?
I was amazed: “How can I not say that you haven’t paid me for a long time? I’ll tell you everything!” Then they called me: “Take your football player.” I dial Slutsky and hear: “I need players with a clear head, ready for training. Talk to the management.”
- Maybe he really couldn’t do anything.
Nepomnyashchiy could do it!
- In "Tom"?
Yes. Valery Kuzmich always said: “Volodya, if there are problems, call at any time. We have no right to deceive the Koreans.”
- We were told how difficult it is to negotiate with the Surkises. Did you also have experience?
I didn't experience any inconvenience with them at all. I am grateful to the Surkis. They, like real Jewish crests, taught me to behave correctly. Thanks to them, I signed crazy contracts!
- Who are we talking about?
He extracted incredible money from the Koreans for Sergei Skachenko, Sergei Konovalov... He could have placed Andrei Shevchenko in Korea.
- Are you kidding?
Grigory Mikhailovich gave it to me! “Volodya, if they pay two million dollars for Shevchenko, take it. Even take it for $1.5 million!” But the Koreans did not pull it off. Then they wouldn’t have paid a million and a half for anyone.
- Do you think Andrei himself would go to Korea?
Easily. Shevchenko was nobody then. I took Andrei Gusin to Korea. He didn't come. A good football player?
- Wonderful.
It was the Koreans who made him a player. And in Kyiv they wrote him off while still young.
- He played in attack then.
Yes. For a month in Korea, he was turned inside out. Then they return: “It’s no good. Everything is there - height, power. No speed!” But they prepared it brilliantly. He returned to Kyiv, where Lobanovsky took over Dynamo. I looked at Gusin in action: “This is a luxurious midfielder!” Andrey became the best player in the country and captain of the team. Korea has made footballers out of many!
- From whom else?
Remember the guy who scored for Terek in the final - and brought the Cup?
- Andrey Fedkov?
Yes! They drove him to Samsung for two months. Three skins were removed. Returned to Russia and started playing! Do you remember the late Andrei Ivanov, defender?
- Still would.
- “Spartak” pushed him to CSKA, they didn’t know what to do with Ivanov. They didn't take him anywhere. The Koreans treated the guy so well that he returned and signed a contract in Austria.
- Why didn’t Fedkov get hooked on Samsung?
The coaches said that they had found his physical maximum. This doesn't quite suit them. The striker is not bad, but we need a stronger one. They were looking for a better forward than Yura Matveev. So I was carrying Gusin, Fedkov... Okay, guys, excuse me, I probably tired you.
- Not at all. What lessons did you learn from Surkis?
There is a very important person in Ukraine - Viktor Medvedchuk...
- Once was the vice-president of Dynamo Kyiv. Involved in a fur coat scandal.
Yes. Highly qualified lawyer. Recently, on the Ukrainian side, the issue of prisoners of war was resolved. Surkis did not sign a single piece of paper without consulting him. Grigory Mikhailovich and Viktor Vladimirovich taught me how to negotiate correctly. How to present yourself in order to conclude big deals. They never say no. But they never say “yes”...
- Wow.
By the way, Byshovets is the same master. Without the science received from the Surkises, I would never have signed Skachenko and Konovalov for that kind of money.
- Which?
The Koreans paid either 600 thousand or 650 for Konovalov. For Skachenko - 500. Huge transfer sums have not yet existed in the world! Then a million is a guard. And half a million is just a victory. Konovalov got a job at POSCO, a club at the world's largest metalworking company. This is what the Koreans told me: “You have shaken us up for a colossal amount. How can we present a transfer to people without them laughing at us?” I called the elder Surkis - and he taught me. I conveyed these words to the Koreans.
- Didn’t two Sergei screw up in Korea?
Were the best! Real stars! Like another guy, Semin gave me a striker...
- Vitaly Parakhnevich?
Exactly! He only flashed at Lokomotiv - and Yuri Palych gave him away. Some time later, I brought from Korea recordings of Parakhnevich playing. Semin’s eyes widened: “Leave me this tape...”
- For what?
Probably rewatched it. The next day he says: “We will pay you well. Can you return Vitalik?” - “The Koreans resold him to Japan, he makes good money there. The transfer will cost Lokomotiv about three hundred thousand” - “We don’t have that much... Holy shit, how did we screw him up?!” And for this, I answer, thanks to you and Boris Petrovich Ignatiev.
- How it was?
I came to the game to watch another striker. Parakhnevich was suddenly released from the reserve. Scored immediately! After the match I ask: “Yuri Palych, who is this guy?” - “I picked it out from Odessa, it doesn’t work.” Ignatiev stands nearby: “Yes, Yura, why did you take him?”
- Nice story.
- Also with features? In a belt?
Odessa girl, bronze medalist of the World Artistic Gymnastics Championship. She considered herself a star, the most beautiful, the slenderest. Parakhnevich screamed at her. She decided that they should live either in America or in Australia. And here is some kind of Korea. So Yuri Palych said: “They won’t go. They’re weird.” I go to Porokh, talk, he sighs: “I don’t mind, my woman won’t agree!” - “How can he not agree?! And he will refuse me?!”
- Indeed.
I lay out photographs of Seoul in front of her. She doesn't know anything. She thinks Australia is better. I convince you: “Korea is a magnificent country. This is not Australia with crazy heat. Korea has everything, the Japanese come there to dress. Wonderful climate. The club will allocate a three-story Swiss house.” Two hours later she became my closest friend.
- We are shocked.
She exclaimed: “That’s exactly where we wanted!” We spent time in Korea, then in Japan. And then we got to Australia.
- This is fate. Is that how they live?
It seems that Gunpowder has returned, they divorced.
- Valery Karpin told us about the president of an Italian club, who went away to snort cocaine during negotiations and returned in high spirits. Have you come across strange leaders?
No one ran away to snort cocaine. The Surkises were touched by their professionalism. One day Grigory Mikhailovich called: “Volodya, help me out. We are selling Luzhny to Arsenal. The British are stuck - either they take it or not. We need to create an environment that Russia is interested in him. Will you help? For me!”
- This is the task.
I did everything - a rumor spread that Luzhny was about to be taken by either these or those. Surkis once again - and sent him to Arsenal! He calls me: “What do I owe?” - “To Mike Luzhny from the last match.” What do you think? Two days later the T-shirt was in Moscow!
- Teach me how to create noise so that it reaches Arsenal?
There are several famous agents. You call as if casually: “Do you need Luzhny?” - “No” - “As you wish. Anyway, two clubs are targeting him, this one and that one...” You make up the details. People will think, repeat: “No, no, don’t,” but they themselves will remember. That's it, the rumor has spread. Three days later, Arsenal is aware. Do you remember the story with Titov?
-Are you talking about Bayern? This is science fiction.
Nothing like that - Bayern seriously wanted to buy him! I still have an official letter!
- I wanted to - until the most picturesque representatives of Spartak entered into negotiations?
Yes, Esaulenko, the vice president, was there.
- “Spartak” announced some unrealistic figure to the Germans?
20 million. I came to the Bavarians with this answer - they didn’t believe it at first. Then they started laughing.
- Egor’s objective price?
5 million. The maximum is 7. It seems that Rummenigge conveyed through the secretary: “We would give 20, but your football player is not worth that much. For 20 million we will buy these…” - and a list of names.
- We heard that you had something to do with Idahor’s transfer to Dynamo Kiev.
There were situations when I was not forgotten in large transactions. The story about Idahora from this series. In Kyiv they looked and looked at the guy, but they didn’t take him. Then they took him to Moscow and tried to get him into Spartak. The people doing the crossing spoke neither English nor French. So they asked: “Volodya, while we’re waiting for a decision on the player, keep him busy. Show him the city, take him to a restaurant. Otherwise he’s kind of sour, he’s eager to go back to Nigeria...” Why not help his comrades, right?
- Logical.
I entertained Idahora with stories after training for a couple of days. “Spartak” liked him, this immediately became known in “Dynamo” Kiev. They were alarmed: “Why didn’t they see such a player?” We dialed his agent: “Quickly bring Idahor, we agree to everything, we’ll sign a contract tomorrow.”
- How did Kyiv find out about what was happening in Tarasovka?
Not from the press, of course. Information spreads across football channels instantly. And the agents are present at training sessions, and the players themselves are chatting.
-Did they promise you anything?
No. Nobody and nothing. But! When Dynamo paid for Idahor, a man arrived and handed over ten thousand dollars: “Thank you, you really helped us. Otherwise the guy would have packed his things and fled to his Africa...”
- Has it ever happened that you send a football player to Korea - and he calls and cries: “Take me away from here!”?
There were cases... But I knew how to persuade football players. And most importantly, their wives.
- For whom did the wife make all the decisions?
For every second. Some players immediately said: “I don’t care where to go. I’ll bring my wife, try to persuade her.” Yura Matveev loved his wife madly. Ira is truly a very impressive woman. This brought big problems.
- Which?
Yura couldn't live without her. And the coach said: “As soon as he fucks her, he turns from a gorgeous football player into a piece of crap. He can barely walk.” But Matveev is unable to resist.
- How to solve such a question?
I called Matveev, he answered: “And I want her!” But they still found understanding. We agreed that two days before the game he would be taken from his apartment and placed at the base. Together with that…
- God. With whom?
Then I brought a boy to the team - Denis Laktionov. They became friends - they just didn’t spill water, they walked around hugging each other! One is 17, the other is 30. Denis is delighted: “Vladimir Nikolaevich, it’s great that Yurka showed up. He’s like a father to me!”
- Matveev isn’t divorced?
Don't know. We saw each other about five years ago, he was acting as chief at Ural. I was happy. I ask: “How is Irina?” - "Everything is fine". This is how it happens: one person is in passionate love, and the other’s wife tells him on the phone that she can’t play... Let me go, guys, my cutlets are disappearing at home!
- If they’re gone, then they’re gone. In Korea, coaches beat football players with sticks. Ours too?
No. With boots - they could.
- Who is this for?
Volodya Savchenko, the goalkeeper, was hit. Nice guy, complains about the coach: “He flashed his boot in my face!” Then the coach apologized, and from that moment Volodya became the main goalkeeper. I was very pleased! Punishment in Korea is a special philosophy.
- That is?
The coach says: “This is what you’re doing with your play? You’re making me humiliate myself, lose face, throw my boots at you, hit you with a stick...” They could have built a team - they could have screwed every third one. It's like preventing the flu!
-Have you seen it?
In front of my eyes they beat me with a stick and a fist. Three were taken out of action: “You are the worst!” I hit one and fell. Second, third. The team is watching. No offense! Vice versa! Heads bowed: “Thank you, thank you and thank you again.” Today this is no longer the case. Europeanized.
- Besides Dasaev’s poster, are there any gifts from football players in your home?
From Rodionov - a Red Star T-shirt.
- Did you give it yourself?
By the way, no. President of the club. He tried to push me into his champagne, he called me into the restaurant. This Jean-Claude wanted to look at my woman again. I forcibly got rid of it: “I won’t drink your champagne. Better give Rodionov a T-shirt...” On a special day off they sent a man to the base and brought him.
- What other gifts were there?
Parakhnevich and his wife were presented with a gold cufflink with a diamond for their birthday. I was surprised! I have a lot of T-shirts... For example, Skachenko moved to Metz and immediately scored a goal against Barthez in Monaco! He gave me the uniform in which he scored. Along with boots. Then he buried ours for the Ukrainian national team - and sent this set of uniforms. Where have I sent Skachenko. Even to Switzerland! In Korea and Japan, his portrait was printed on tickets.
- He was kind of strange at Torpedo.
I just never gave interviews; I was terribly afraid of journalists. Women too. Although the guy is cute, the girls were hanging on him. And he loved his Helen. A small girl. Mother and father said: “Come on, she’s not worthy of you, she’s a commoner...” He got along with someone, broke up, and still came back to her. That's all he loves!
- Deserves respect.
The parents resigned themselves: “Okay, bring her.” In Korea she was still a bride, but she came to France as a wife. She bore him a son. Who was later hit by a car in Kyiv.
- To death?
No. But he was treated for many years.
- József Szabo told us about Skachenko - the day before the Champions League match, he was lying around at the Dynamo Kyiv base, completely drunk.
It was so. Sergei was an alcoholic until he was 23 years old.
- You're lucky to have clients.
He was brought to Torpedo from somewhere in Kazakhstan when he was 18 years old. His father, an athletics coach somewhere in Semipalatinsk, wanted to make his son a jumper or runner. Seryoga ran at breakneck speed, no one could keep up, and he jumped phenomenally high. I didn’t even think about football. And I ended up in Torpedo and drank myself to death. Two seasons was enough.
- Then you got stitched up?
He was sent to Dynamo Kiev, where they knew how to deal with such people. I'm done. And his best years were spent in Korea. It used to be that he went to the Ukrainian national team for ten days, where they drove him around like a dog. Returns to Torpedo - the best! In "Metz" - the same story!
- France didn’t relax him?
The regime there is not for him - at least drink wine every day. I ran around a little, and that’s it, you can go home. He needs, like in Korea - two workouts a day until he's sick. There he was handsome, the top scorer of the championship. The whole country was buzzing about him! Seryoga has a drawback - if he trains hard or wears slightly the wrong shoes, the nails on his big toes immediately come off. So in Korea he played almost all the time without nails.
- Ugh.
Guys, I'll tell you. Still, he brought twenty people to Korea. Of these, fifteen showed what good physical activity can do to a football player. Our boys turned into stars! They are very skilled, fast, and physically resilient. As captain of Rostselmash... I forgot my last name...
- Don’t worry, we’ll tell you. Stepushkin.
Yeah, Gena Stepushkin. He hugged me: “Vladimir Nikolaevich, without you I wouldn’t have played so much.” It was written off in Russia, I took it to Korea. Spent three years there - I became younger! He returned to Russia, played as a running back for four seasons, and finished at 36.
Anatoly Byshovets. Photo by Alexander Fedorov, "SE"
- Bubnov was not offended by your books, we made that clear. But Byshovets could.
Yes you! No offense! By the way, look who’s calling (Byshovets is displayed on the phone). Now, guys, I’ll answer Anatoly Fedorovich...
- So, Anatoly Fedorovich is your friend and brother. We are glad.
Actually, he's a shitty person. But how he knocked out tracksuits for me! Masterly! He didn’t give it himself, but he forced the Koreans: “It was Abramov who organized the contract, without him nothing would have happened. Give him everything.” I didn't ask, but he insisted. Nepomniachtchi never did this.
- Your books have created a stir.
Recently, at one gathering, very cool men said: “Volodya, you can’t even imagine who read your book!” - “Well, tell me” - “We can’t.”
- That's not interesting.
One mafia boss, the owner of a bank, invited him to his place: “I was recommended to do business with you, you are a decent person.” We drank a glass of wine. I brought back a famous Russian football player from abroad to his team. This banker said: “You asked for 5 percent. Did you get it?” - “Yes, everything has arrived” - “Okay. We like that you never ask for too much and don’t behave like a beast.”
- And the athletes didn’t say anything about your Sovintersport.
Someone sincerely did not understand what he was talking about - like Seryozha Nemchinov. Some players were offended without understanding the essence of the deal. But the hockey players were more different in this sense. Igor Larionov is a smart guy! How many times have I explained to him that he is telling journalists nonsense. Who deceived you? Here is your contract, I open it. Here's the autograph.
- Is everything preserved?
Of course. He invited one goalkeeper to his place and showed him his documents before leaving for Canada. It is clearly stated what the salary is. I ask: “Didn’t you read the contract?” Read it! But all the same, in every interview: “Sovintersport” robbed us...” And what did Petrzhela say about Kostya Sarsania?
- What are we talking about?
It’s as if they brought him the Korean Hyun Yong Min to Zenit, passing him off as a national team player. But in fact, he did not play in any national team. So, I handled this deal from start to finish. Petrzela's words are a lie! The person is mentally ill. If he is a player, it means he is out of his mind. You may ask: “What about Fyodor Dostoevsky?” And he was funny! All his works suffer from this.
- God be with him, with Dostoevsky. Among your football players there were also casino fans - for example, Evgeny Kuznetsov.
In this sense, Solomatin was more memorable. He moved from Lokomotiv to CSKA, scored a goal in the Cup final... And it ended with Semin texting me: “Volodya, the guy has completely fallen off his skates. He spent all the money in the casino! Can you arrange a contract for him for at least six months?” There are many football agents, but no one to help. I sent Andrey to Korea. Played one match there. The rest of the time I sat on the bench. But the Koreans paid him well - a little less than half a million dollars.
- He’s a good football player.
Very good! But he arranged it with great difficulty and showed some videos. They took me to the Ilva club only because of my good name. The President waved his hand: “Since you ask, I’ll take the risk!” Solomatin’s parents came to Seoul to relax and thanked me: “We have at least raised our money a little…”
- Was Andrey himself grateful?
He promised to bring an army jersey as a gift: “I still have the cup jersey.” I never brought it. In general, after Korea I didn’t call. Before that, he once drove up to my house in a Mercedes: “Did Yuri Palych call you?” - “Yes. If you let him and me down, it will be a big shame.” Koreans check to see if you are home at 11 pm all the time. Hop bell: “Are you sleeping?” Everyone is sitting, waiting for this call. I hammered a clause into Solomatin’s contract: if he is noticed in the casino, there will be a decent fine.
- Didn’t you violate it?
I think I did. But I tried not to get caught. My parents also kept an eye on me so that I didn’t let this money go down the drain. Yuri Palych called me: “Volodya, thank you very much.” He often invited me to Bakovka: “Just walk around the field.”
- Why is this?
I also asked, Semin grinned: “When the guys see you, they understand that you’ve come to pick up someone. Work begins right away! But now I desperately need to train properly for a couple of days. I can’t make them run.” I arrived and the two of us wandered along the edge.
- Everyone wanted you to notice them and take them to Korea?
Vice versa! No one was eager to go to Korea. We knew about the terrible loads. This is the Russian approach: no one wants to train. But they want to earn big money. It's different for Koreans.
- Really?
All Koreans are workout fans. But why they plow, they themselves cannot understand. Money doesn't bother them much. So I explained to Solomatin: either you are a professional, or you are a scoundrel. I did all this for Yuri Palych, and not for the player!
- Yuri Palych knows how to be grateful.
Yeah. I promised that if they reach the quarterfinals of the European Cup and play in England, they will take me for free. When we left, I reminded Semin and Filatov: “You promised, right? Here, I’ve arrived” - “What did we promise you, Volodya?” - “Take to London...” Do you know what they answered?
- We can guess.
- “We didn’t promise you anything.” Sorry guys, I'm answering. He turned around and left. Okay, not the first time.
- More memorable incidents - unfulfilled?
Remember, in 1998, under Byshovets, our team lost badly to the Brazilians? When the match was being organized, I approached Anatoly Fedorovich: “I’ve never been to Brazil. Take it with you.”
- The team lived in Rio for another week after the match.
Yes! When Byshovets signed a contract with Zenit, I dictated to him for an hour and a half on the phone what needed to be written into the contract. Anatoly Fedorovich did all this. Then he found himself in the national team and said: “Volodya, I have to thank you somehow.” I mentioned Brazil. “No problem! Consider yourself already there...”
- When did it come to the point?
He pretended that he didn’t understand anything.
- How cute.
Time passes - a call from him: “Volodya, I don’t know why I didn’t hire you...” Yes, many deceived me. Not only Semin and Byshovets. I'm not offended by them. “I don’t remember” is a common answer. Maybe they really don't remember. I also forget something. I don’t go anywhere, I live on a pension, everything suits me.
-Your new book came out this year.
I didn’t even want to think about football anymore. Not to mention writing about him. I swore off!
- Why?
Tired of this fuss. But Kostya Sarsania died, and in memory of him he wrote two stories. I wanted them to understand what kind of person he was. Many consider him a grabber who only rowed for himself. And Kostya is amazing, decent, and helped everyone out!
- Is publishing a book an expensive pleasure?
306 thousand rubles. Today this is a lot of money for me. I gave mine, no one helped, although they promised. The main thing is that Sarsania’s father called: “We really liked the way you wrote about Kostya. Thank you...”
Girls are such sublime creatures, sometimes it even seems like they don’t poop at all. But nature takes its toll, and even the most gentle girl can shit herself at the most inopportune moment. For example, in a trolleybus during a date with her boyfriend, like the heroine of this cool story.
Saratov is a good city. I was born there and for this they gave me a medal “Born in Saratov”. Chernyshevsky was depicted on one side of the medal, and the sun on the other. That is, be as smart and shine like the sun. As a child, I could silence anyone with the question: “Do you have a medal?” Well, what is there to cover? I grew up in the Arctic Circle, and the city that gives out medals to babies seemed sunny and very cultured to me (it’s not for nothing that Chernyshevsky is a symbol) and I dreamed of entering the Saratov Law Institute and settling on the banks of the Volga forever.
A year before graduating from school, I came for reconnaissance, to look around, to look at Chernyshevsky in person, fortunately there was somewhere to stay - my aunt lives there. Once I was riding in a trolleybus from the beach, outside the window there was a Volga, houses and churches floated by - beauty. Suddenly I feel a gaze on me, I turn my head - an adult guy looks at me affectionately from under the handrail, and his eyes are blue-blue. Cool overall. We arrived at the terminal, the guy stood at the exit and solemnly shook hands with me. And why is he doing this? Everyone is watching. Inconvenient. But there was nowhere to go - we met: he is Sergei, I am Yulia, everyone was very pleased.
How old are you? - asks.
Sixteen, I say.
He burst into emotion.
How old are you?
Yes, I’m already old... Twenty-five.
And, really, it’s a little old, even a little scary, but okay, let’s see what happens next. After twenty minutes of meeting Sergei announced that we were getting married. I looked carefully at my new acquaintance and thought, will I really have to spend my whole life with him?
Sergei, meanwhile, continued - “In a year you will enter your law school, you will live with me...”. I wanted to protest indignantly, but he beat me to it: “We won’t have anything. Nothing. But in another year you will turn eighteen and we will get married.” I thought - maybe it’s true - fate + Saratov + Chernyshevsky We started dating. He fed me ice cream, took me to the cinema, to the theater, to exhibitions, often said that I was a real lady, a princess of the blood, simply that he had never seen such amazing, refined, pure girls, that I had so-and-and-and eyes that I don’t even know what they are. I listened with my mouth open - this was all the first time for me.
We really had nothing, he took care of me, blew away specks of dust, carried me in his arms, gave me flowers every day and read good poems. Two weeks passed like this. During this time, he had already tired me out with compliments and delight, and I wanted to do something bad, completely unrefined, even rude, but I didn’t have enough spirit, and there was no reason. But it’s not in vain that God, apparently, sits in the sky and looks far away.
One day my parents brought a great variety of all kinds of fruits from the market, including a whole bucket of plums. Like all children of the north with chronic congenital vitamin deficiency, I loved plums wholeheartedly and ate two kilograms in one sitting. As soon as I finished with the plums, the doorbell rang - Sergei came, inviting me to go for a walk to the embankment. Walk like that - put on an elegant sundress, snow-white with blue flowers and off you go. And the path from my aunt’s house to the embankment is not short. First you have to walk to the stop, then take a trolleybus for about forty minutes, and then another twenty by tram. When we arrived at the place, I felt a slight tickling in my stomach - it seemed like the plums had already been digested, but I didn’t attach any importance to it - the grass was turning green, the sun was shining - go for a walk and be happy. We went to a cafe, I got ice cream, he got beer. We sit and chat. He again started his favorite song about my beautiful eyes, I, as usual, listened attentively, smiling mysteriously. After the fifth serving of ice cream, I got tired of steaming in the cafe - let's go, I say. We got up, and I felt that the plums and ice cream had come into contact - an emergency situation. I felt restless, and the sun was no longer happy. And Sergei looked at me carefully and said, “Yulenka, do you happen to want to go to the toilet?” I wanted to answer “I want”, but I remembered Turgenev’s girls, the testaments of the pioneer heroes and firmly said “no”. Most importantly, he asked again: “Are you sure you don’t want to?” I remained silent - the topic is unworthy for a lady - I must understand.
Okay, let's go for a walk. But the light is no longer pleasant to me, I’m thinking about how to run home quickly. Sergei looks - his girl is not happy, asks - “Yulenka, why are you sad, maybe you want a chocolate, maybe go to the movies or take a boat ride on the Volga?” I answer him, capriciously, not at all aristocratically, “I don’t want chocolate, I don’t want a movie and I don’t want a boat.” And I think to myself - I’m going to shit myself now. And so he began to make me angry, just to the point of nausea. “I want to go home,” I say, “in completely worker-peasant intonations.” He turned sour, but there was nothing to do - let's go to the tram stop. But there is no tram. Finally it rolls up, almost empty, we sat down. I’m driving and thinking - here I am right now.... As I imagined, my heart started to feel bad. I was raised on Bunin, on Blok + Sergei says, “Why are you, Yulenka, pale, are you feeling bad?” But I can’t see his sugary face, I’d just punch him between the eyes, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to resist the tension. God! Once upon a time she lived so pure and bright and died on a tram from a ruptured rectum! God, please help me, I will be a good girl!
We transferred from the tram to a trolleybus, where everything was already blurring in green circles in our eyes, tears were welling up, it was becoming difficult to breathe.
In general, the instinct of self-preservation outweighed all moral developments. I ran to the back platform, and at the very last moment I managed to lift my snow-white cornflower blue sundress over my head, lower my panties to my ankles and, turning crimson with embarrassment, ... well, well, in general, start getting rid of the ice cream and plum waste. The people in the trolleybus froze, it was a culture shock, you have to understand. Everything happened in complete silence, disturbed only by the sounds characteristic of defecation. God, what a horror, I’m still ashamed. The first to come to her senses was a little girl of about five years old, she squealed loudly with joy, “Look, auntie is pooping!” and all the passengers perked up as if on command: a woman with a purse jumped up to me and started yelling: “oh you satanic prostitute, oh you disgusting succubus, look what you’re up to.” I still don't know what she meant.
An elegant lady in a hat with a veil, about thirty years old, seemed to have fallen unconscious, and her boyfriend began performing artificial respiration and still greedily grabbed her breast. A group of young teenagers fell under the seats laughing, grunting, kicking their legs, pointing their fingers. I sit with my hem covering my face and calm myself down, saying that tomorrow you won’t see these people anymore, this could happen to anyone. And the driver mumbles monotonously into the microphone:
“Citizen, stop uh-uh... stop shitting immediately.” In general, everything is like a dream, a nightmare. And Sergei stood all this time with his mouth open, without blinking, he could not utter a word, then the doors opened, and the power of speech returned to him: “Well, well... you’re like that... unearthly... Julia, how could you?...". And he almost cries. He said all this and got out of the trolleybus... I got up from my squat and jumped out after him. “Wait,” I shout, “you misunderstood, I’m really like that, I’m gentle, really...”. But he no longer listened, he just ran and looked around nervously, but he wanted to get married.
And I didn’t go to Saratov anymore, it’s a shame - I let Chernyshevsky down, I let him down.
Mouse's tears and Mashka's tricks.
Well, Lariska,” Shakhinya asked Mouse defiantly, “don’t you have anything to tell?”
No!
What, in your entire life you have never peed yourself or...
No! Maybe she peed in the diaper, but I don’t remember.
You’re lying, Larka,” Shahina began to get excited again, “We’re women, this happens to us and there’s nothing to be ashamed of...
I have nothing to tell, Masha, nothing.
Okay, no problem! Come on, girls, hold it! – our atamansha called us militantly - Now you will have something to tell!
We rushed to her battle cry and soon deprived Rat of all movement: Shurka with all her weight fell on Larka’s legs; Snow White and I sat in her arms.
- Now you will have something to tell, Shahinya repeated again and, bending over her victim, began to tickle her intensely.
- Mash-ka!.. Mash-ka!.. Stop it! – Lariska screamed, wriggling, “Pre-kra-ti-i-i!”
- “There will be something to tell,” Mashka repeated, not stopping her mockery for a minute.
Lariska continued to squirm, trying to free herself from the bonds, but we held her tightly. Suddenly she froze, and we saw how a wet spot began to appear on her jeans in the crotch area, which became larger and larger. In the blink of an eye, Masha stood up, and we followed her example. Despite the freedom she had gained, Lariska did not move, and the stain on her jeans continued to grow, and a puddle appeared from under her thighs. We stood in silence, stunned by what had happened. Shurka, Snow White and Masha were in shock, and I was in a sweet stupor, with great difficulty restraining myself from putting my hand in my pants and cumming right there. Larka, meanwhile, turned on her stomach and sobbed bitterly and loudly. I couldn’t take my eyes off her wet ass, feeling that if I just lightly touched my jeans in the crotch area, I would instantly find myself in the arms of a frenzied orgasm.
Masha rushed to her crying friend, squatting in front of her and began to calm her down.
- Larochka, calm down, dear. It's just a joke. Calm down.
But Lariska was sobbing, choking louder and louder.
- Lara, calm down. Well, I'm a fool, I'm drunk, Lord. Look!..
The shahina raised Larka’s head, and we all witnessed the following picture: without getting up from her haunches, Masha spread her legs wider to the sides and out of hera powerful stream rushed out, flooding her trousers, spreading under her, turning into a huge puddle. Seeing Masha, the proud, arrogant and independent Shakhina, simply peeing in her pants, I could no longer hold back. With my legs spread wide apart, I relaxed, and the liquid accumulated in me after drinking vodka rushed into my panties and jeans, burning my vagina and legs. This tiny touch of the trickle was enough for me to fall into a sweet madness of pleasure. Through a very thin veil of my consciousness, ready to completely leave me, I heard Mashka’s voice:
- Look, Lara, over there Glashka has peed herself.
Shurka watched what was happening with the air of a stranger who had accidentally ended up in a madhouse. She couldn't understand what was happening around her.
- Shurka! – Shahinya exclaimed, “You’re the only one left!”
- Girls, what are you doing or what?
- Come on!
- Girls, if I piss myself now, I won’t have anything to wear, my other pants are already drying.
- No excuses, come on girls, grab it...
- No! – Fatty exclaimed in fear, “No!” Girls, I'm on my own!
She stood up again, leaning forward low, and such a powerful stream sprayed out of her, which is rarely seen from anyone else. Its stream erupted with a hiss, falling at her feet with the noise of a mountain stream... I was tickled againin the crotch, but I resisted a new temptation.
Then, without changing our clothes, we returned to the table. We poured vodka again, drank to our wet adventure, and the rest of the evening passed in friendly harmony. After listening to a couple of Lariska’s amorous adventures before going to bed, we retired. It was decided not to return to the building, but to spend the night in our tent, since it was quite spacious.
Before going to bed, I seized the moment and did not move far from our bivouac, going slightly deeper into the forest. It was already completely dark, so there was no point in hiding too much. Sitting down on the trunk of a fallen tree and leaning against its thick branch, I began to remember all the incidents of this evening: the stories of my friends, their wet tricks today and, slightly aroused, I relaxed. Hot urine rushed into my panties in a powerful stream, and my vagina received a strong push, from which I felt an orgasm approaching. Without waiting for the flow to dry up, I quickly stuck my hand into my pants and entered myself. And - a new rise to the heights of the amorous Olympus, or, conversely, a failure into the deep gorge of the insidious Eros, which lures people into its kingdom with all possible and impossible baits.
When I returned, my friends were already sleeping in the tent with their bare asses, and their wet pants and underpants were hung on the rope that we usually use to dry our swimsuits. And my jeans and panties hung nearby, and I, having joined my girlfriends, satisfied, soon disappeared into a happy sleep.
A little more than a decade has passed since then. We met in the treasured place several more times after that. But it’s been four years since our communication stopped (I still hope that we will resume our meetings).
